Clenching

Well, I hit 1 month post op officially yesterday.  Yay!  Happy to be getting closer to eating "real" food.  As I mentioned in previous posts, I'm having to practice stretching my bite (mouth yoga) so I can open far enough for my bite plate/splint to get removed.  That's been going pretty good.

This past week I had the suspicion that I had been clenching at night.   I think I actually knew this earlier in the week, but was in denial and tried to just focus on keeping my teeth apart at night. But that's not the way it works.  Clenching is big no no, for recovery (and just in general!).  Yesterday morning when I woke up, I paid really close attention and sure enough I was clenching.  I knew what this meant.  I needed to go back on muscle relaxers at night. .  I called my doc just to make sure, and he confirmed what I had been thinking.   This was a little depressing, as the meds make me drowsier in general, but I also know the bone needs to heal, and if I"m clenching this is going to slow down or do something worse.  I wish I could just make myself not clench my teeth at night, but I've been doing it since I was a teenager and it's a bit of a habit, and since I do it while in my sleep, there's not a whole lot I can do to control it.  So now I'm officially back on meds until I can get a mouth guard, which will have to be after the braces come off.

I was researching clenching/grinding yesterday (the actual term is "bruxism").  I learned some new things.  1 out of 10 people clench or grind.  Consuming magnesium helps, because it helps relax the muscles. Putting a warm moist compress in front of your bottom ear lobe can help relax jaw muscles.   Eliminating coffee, chocolate, tobacco and alcohol from your diet can help reduce bruxism.  Also, some people put their tongue in between their teeth because it forces their jaw muscles to relax.

And for the picture...  They're starting to all look the same!

4 weeks post op

4 weeks!  I can't believe it.  Though just a number, it feels really good to hit 4 weeks for a few reasons. 

1) When I first met with my orthodontist, I remember him saying, people who get jaw surgery should take a month off whatever they do (like if you are a student, take a month off school, if working a month off work).  Obviously I wasn't able to fully take a month off, but my mom definitely has helped ease my load!  This surgery is not ideal with young children, but do-able as long as you have support.  The last few days, my energy is picking up more, and I've been able to do more than even just a week ago! 

2) 4 weeks is halfway to 8 weeks, which is when I'm allowed to chew!  Yeah!  I know I'll have to start small with softer foods, and that it will take time to get better since I have a new bite now, and I won't have chewed anything for a while, but I do look very forward to 8 weeks!


I am getting very EXTREMELY bored of liquids, but trying to hang in there.  Sometimes I forget I can't eat and we'll be driving past a McDonalds and I'll think, "Oh let's stop so I can get a cheeseburger!" and then I'll remember, "oh yeah, nevermind" and TRY to laugh about it.  But in all honesty, I know this is a small thing compared to much bigger life and health situations many other people deal with.  For now, I need to remember to just keep eating whether or not I feel like it.  When I don't I'm more tired, light-headed, and headachey. 

I got out yesterday with my mom and the kids and we visited with some friends of mine from college at the Morton Arboretum.  I actually felt pretty good the majority of the time.  The beautiful weather helped too!  And so good to see the girls and their kids!! 

In the last few days I have gotten a little more feeling back in my upper lip.  On the left side I would say it is now only 50% numb and on the right side it feels normal.  I still have feeling in my lower lip and area underneath it.  This is all to be expected and no surprise to the experts.

In final news, the mouth yoga is working, but ever so slowly.  It also makes my mouth hurt, but it will be worth it to get the splint taken out, not to mention being able to fit food in my mouth.  Here is a pic of how big I am able to open now:

It feels as though I'm open so huge, but I'm really not!

And here's a nice normal picture of me at 4 weeks post op:

Perception and reality

I had an appt with my surgeon, Dr. Kallal, yesterday. He asked me to open and close and apparently I can barely open my mouth still. When I try to open it feels like I'm opening very wide and big, but when I look in the mirror it's open about 1-2 mm. In order for him to pull my splint out, he has to be able to put two fingers in (height-wise). So between now and my next appt with him in 3 weeks, I have a lot of "mouth yoga" to do. And I'm motivated!

Perception: My mouth is open as large as a lion's.
Reality: I couldn't stick a cracker in my mouth if I tried.

Last night, Marc and I went on a "date". The first one since surgery. Normally food is a part of any date(for us). We both love food! Since I can't eat we improvised. I got the OK from Dr. K yesterday, to drink from a straw. So we used some coupons we had and got a free cherry chiller, and a $1 strawberry lemonade. Just because I had the OK to drink from a straw didn't mean I was physically able - I discovered that quickly! It took about 5x as long but I managed to drink most of it until it was mostly ice at the bottom. Marc and I spent our date driving around looking at houses that were for sale in the area. It was actually a lot of fun and I didn't have to exert any energy. :). However when I came home and did my daily drill of waterpik-ing, brushing, and elastics changing, I found my mouth was bleeding. Turns out while drinking from the straw I cut my gums with the straw but since I'm still mostly numb I couldn't feel it. It's scary to think parts of my mouth could be totally cut up and I wouldn't even know. On the flip side I'm extremely thankful my mouth was and is numb considering what was done during surgery!

All right I'm off to do my mouth yoga...

3 weeks post op

Today marks 3 weeks post op. I had an appointment with my orthodontist this morning. My mom has commented and this is so true, that both my orthodontist's practice and my surgeon's practice are exceptional. I'm very blessed to have such wonderful medical "caretakers". Anyways my orthodontist, Dr. Weintraub, was very pleased with how everything looked and said both my surgical sites and gums looked good. I asked him how long I would have my splint (it's like a bite plate I've had since surgery that is behind my upper teeth and prevents my back teeth from touching - kind of like a cast for your teeth) and he thought it would be another 5 weeks (which makes sense, since I was told no chewing for 8 weeks). Once that comes out my talking should be clearer and my eating options should increase (at least I hope!). So I'm almost halfway to that! In other news, I made a cream of potato soup that was pretty yummy. Otherwise I've been sticking to instant breakfast, malts, and fruit smoothies. I've dropped 8 pounds, which I'm sure is some muscle loss. The kids are keeping my mom and I busy. One of biggest pre-surgery fears was that I wouldn't be able to read to the kids for a while and I've been able to do that. They don't seem to care that I can't pronounce everything right! Also, Joe's vocabulary has increased from like 10 words to 50 words in the last couple of weeks. I know that has nothing to do with jaw surgery but that has been very exciting!

Thanks again for your prayers. I appreciate prayers for continued healing and energy.

Cooler by the lake

We decided to break things up and so we're up in WI for the weekend. It was a good weekend to come here as it's significantly cooler. We're actually up on the bluff right now (overlooking Lake Michigan) while the kids play at a really cool park. I'm sitting on the bench writing this while my mom, dad and Marc play with the kiddos.

There hasn't been much new to report. Swelling is about the same ( I've been trying to walk a little to get it to go down). Numbness is about the same.

I've tried one new recipe - Cheddar Chowder. It was good! I'm hoping to try a few other new ones this coming week.

One very positive improvement - I haven't needed to take pain medicine as often. I'm down to 2-3 times a day. Yay! This means I should be able to drive soon though my neck and head mobility is still a little limited. I can't look straight above me (towards sky or ceiling) unless I support my head. This also makes washing my hair in shower a little more difficult, though still doable.

That's all for now!

2 weeks post op

Today marks 2 weeks post op. Crazy! I'm 15% of the way to being able to eat a burger(can you tell I like burgers?!) My energy seems to be increasing, unless I have a night of bad sleep. By the 2 week mark, 80% of swelling is supposed to be down. From looking at my face I would guess that to be the case for me. I still feel swollen but to most people I'm sure I look "normal".

I'm finally mostly past the "drip drip" part of recovery. Aside from medication and thicker puréed soups, I can drink everything through an open cup. It WILL, however, make mealtimes significantly easier when I can drink (slurp) through a straw. Though my lips are still 70% numb so not sure how that will work. I tried to drink some "Cheese and Trees" soup from a coffee mug for dinner last night and it is not something I will try again unless I am all alone! :)

I'm a little discouraged with how numb my face is still, even though I know and have heard how long it can take to get the feeling back. I at least have have somewhat of a smile back. Seriously that makes being in public a little easier. I'm sure it weirds people out plenty that I look like a ventriloquist when I'm talking, lol! At least I can smile after I say "hello" to a stranger.

All in all I'm encouraged by how well I'm doing.

Thanks again to everyone for your prayers and support(not to mention all the meals and offers to help!).

Ice cream makes everything better!

Ever since having a malt Friday night, I've been using ice cream to make other things.  And let me tell you, even though I'm sad I can't eat a burger right now, ice cream helps ease the "pain"! ;)  I'm sure those few pounds that I've lost, will slowly come back now that I've added ice cream to my eating routine.  The BEST recipe I've found yet is for an ice cream coffee drink. 

Here's what I used to make it:
1/2 cup strong coffee (cooled)
1/2 cup milk
4 scoops ice cream
Chocolate Syrup (probably 2 T)
malt powder

YUM.  If you want to make it more like a frappe, you can use less ice cream, and 1 cup or so of ice cubes.  Otherwise, it's very dessert-y.  Seriously, sooo good!!!

In other news, the elastics changings have been pretty easy.  My mom has been using her dental tools to help. I will need to learn how to do it on my own soon.  It has been great to brush my teeth, and my gums aren't even bloody!  Yay!  I did try to eat some really creamy guacamole yesterday(I had to use a baby spoon), but my mouth still has very little range of motion, and it was difficult to sneak in there, even with my elastics off.  Oh well, I did enjoy the little bit I did eat. 

Today I started to get more feeling back in my chin.  It's a subtle burning sensation.  So very strange.  But it was encouraging to feel a drop of dinner fall onto my chin.  Maybe I have less embarassing moments in my future than I imagined. 

Thanks everyone for your continued support and prayers. 

You can't judge a smoothie by it's color....

My diet consists of smoothies, pureed soups, and as of last night, malts! I'm getting a little tired of smoothies and the like, but am thankful there is at least some kind of variety. I also know that you eat to live, not live to eat. I've been trying to keep my diet balanced even with the limitations a liquid diet presents. Something I've just started to add to some of my smoothies (I was doing this before surgery) is spinach. It doesn't taste too bad, and is SO good for you! The main issue I have is the color of the smoothie. For instance, yesterday, I made a smoothie with yogurt, berries, juice, banana, and spinach. It was actually pretty yummy!  Without the spinach it would have been a nice pink color. However, with the spinach it was a nice tan/brown.

I knew jaw surgery would mean a little temporary weight loss, and that has been the case.  It's not so much what I'm eating, it's the chore that eating is.  "Eating" means finding something that actually sounds good to eat, then either syringing it in, or drinking from an open cup and making a mess!  At this point I'm definitely eating to live (and heal) rather than eating to enjoy food.  I am definitely looking forward to the day I can eat pizza or a burger, or chips and salsa!  For now, I'm trying to enjoy the benefits of being a few pounds lighter, and fitting into some clothes I haven't worn in a few years! :)

Yesterday I did see Dr. Kallal.  Everything still looks good.  He took last week's elastics off and put some new ones on, and this week, I'm supposed to take them off once each day to brush and use the waterpik.  That will be nice.  Unfortunately, the elastics are to move my teeth AND keep my jaw shut (movement always means a little pain).  Last night was the worst night of sleep I had all week, I think due to the elastics.  My whole mouth/head was a little achey, and today I woke up looking a little more swollen than when I went to bed!  I'll have to change the elastics by myself (with my mom's help thankfully!!) today, and I'm hoping it's uneventful and easy.  He has them in some pretty weird spots, so it's my guess it will be a little tricky.  I'm hoping the achiness from the rubberbands becomes less and less as my teeth start moving in the direction the doc wants them to go.   

I was hoping when I take the elastics out to maybe sneak some yummier food in (I even bought stuff to make guacamole), since I'll be able to open up a bit wider then.  We'll see!

I forgot a pic yesterday, but here's one from today. 

Day 9 - Same old story

Today was more of the same. I feel good, and then around then lunch time, I need to lay down. I think my swelling is down quite a bit more. I had a very difficult time talking today, due to continual face spasms, and also because my throat was a bit scratchy. I probably won’t continue to update everyday unless there’s something worthy to mention.  Since I see Dr. Kallal tomorrow, I'll update with how the appointment goes.

Day 8 - Facial Contractions

Today felt kinda like yesterday. I again crashed in the afternoon, but then had energy at night. One of the biggest things I really noticed today was the amount of facial contractions I've been having. It feels like just that, my whole face tightens up and then eventually goes back to "normal". I was curious as to how much feeling I've regained in my lips and right now I can only feel my upper right lip. It is very strange. It will be interesting (and nice!) to slowly get feeling back. My chin is also pretty numb as well as a good portion of my left cheek. So weird.

I tried a new recipe today : Cheese and Trees Soup. Very good! Basically it was cheese, potatoes, broccoli, and milk.

No more dry erase board!

Just realized today was the first day I did not need to use the dry erase board at all. Yay, praise the Lord!

1 week post op. Go go go - crash!

Today was a playgroup day and since I felt so good yesterday we thought we'd attempt it if I felt good this morning. Well I didn't feel very good but the kids woke up on the wrong side of the bed and needed a change in scenery, so we decided to go. It was a beautiful day at the park and I felt good sitting in the grass watching the kids play while being with friends. By the time we got home I was exhausted and have been camping out on the couch since! Apparently between yesterday and today I exerted a little bit too much energy. My mom suggested that this just may be the ebb and flow of things for a little bit and she's probably right.

I'm just glad I'm feeling as good as I am at times. Part of me wonders if having detoxed from coffee(not by choice!) has been good for my energy as well as finally being off of the muscle relaxer I've been on for the last 21 months. The muscle relaxer helped me sleep at night without clenching but also made me feel a little less awake all the time, which is frustrating. Anyways, it's nice to have a break from it. The doc said I may have to go back on it at some point if I'm still clenching. (I think he meant during the recovery period or until I'm out of braces). I'm hoping the clenching ends or that a full coverage mouth guard will do the trick.

My face is feeling especially strange today which I'm assuming is just feeling returning.

Day 6 - A good nights sleep does the body good

Today was a really good day.  Last night was the first time since surgery I got longer than 4 hours of sleep, and it felt so good.  My speech is also getting clearer which makes things in general easier.

I tried a bunch of new things today, including:

Peanut butter chocolate banana smoothie (with slimfast, milk, yogurt, PB, and frozen banana)
Pureed mango salsa (salsa was brought by a friend yesterday, and I pureed it with some mango juice today, it was very refreshing, and even had a kick
Pureed Au Gratin potatoes (potatoes were bought as part of a meal today and they smelled so good, I pureed them with some milk - best thing I've eaten post-surgery!)
I also tried some Butternut Squash soup Marc got from Costco, which I wasn't crazy about mainly because of the flavor. 

I definitely ate well today! 

Feeling is slowly coming back into my face.  It all feels very strange.  It feels as though my lips are being contorted and twisted (more strange than painful of a feeling, though not exactly comfortable).  Swelling is down a little bit more. 

I did my hair for the first time and put my contacts in for the first time since surgery.  That definitely helped me feel more human.  However, when I was done, I was exhausted! 

All in all, I was encouraged by how good I felt today.  The next thing I look forward to is less drool, and more feeling in my chin.  I constantly "dribble" while eating (it's not easy eating through a syringe!), and I can't feel it so I don't know it's there.  I foresee embarassing moments in my future.  :)

Day 5 - New Recipe, Normal Craziness, and more bruising

All in all, today has been good.  It has been a little crazy, which I'll explain later. My appetite is coming back more.  I even had the urge to research a jamba juice smoothie recipe to try out(Razzmatazz - my favorite).  Rich and Leeann are letting us borrrow their Vitamix (an amazing blender that even blends up seeds, apparently it's what they use at Jamba Juice).  So if any of y'all are curious, this is what I used(actually Marc made it!):

1/2 cup greek yogurt
1/2 cup raspberry sherbert
1 banana
1/2 cup mango/orange juice
1/2 cup frozen strawberries

Then blend it all together!  The recipe actually called for raspberries too, but they were expensive so, we just skipped them this time.  Though not super nutritious, it tasted good, and since I have to eat 6 - 8 small "meals" a day, it's nice to to add variety.  Before jaw surgery I would have thought I would have been okay eating ensure/slimfast/instant breakfast 6 times a day, but I guess I'm more of a foodie than I realized.  Marc bought some stuff for us to make some southwest concoction (with refried beans, salsa, cheese, sour cream, cilantro), and also a cheese and trees soup (broccoli, potatoes, cheese, milk, etc.).  Once I try those, I'll update how they tasted.  I can't wait til I can just eat some guacamole, even if I can't eat the chips! 

This morning, Marc had to be at church for about 3 hours, and my mom and I opted to just keep Lydia home, just to keep things simpler(so she didn't have to sit in the sound booth for a few hours with him).  Mid - morning, it hit me that I was hungry and feeling a little weary from lack of sustenance.  My mom started to make a smoothie for me, and the kids, when they saw the smoothie, being made, wanted some too.  As it turns out, we couldn't get the smoothie as thin as we needed it which was very frustrating(in hindsight we should have used non frozen bananas instead of frozen ones).  My mom, while trying to figure the syringe out, broke it ( we only have a couple), and then a few moments later, Lydia while drinking her smoothie, spilled it all over the floor and the wall.   It was a little crazy in that half an hour, but it soon got calmer.   Unfortunately later, Lydia threw up the smoothie in the bathtub.  Thankfully, she's since been acting fine since then, but the thought of having the flu going around here, makes me a little nervous.  So pray for a healthy household for us!!

I don't look at myself too much in the mirror, but according to Marc and my mom, my swelling is down a little.  My bruising is up, which you can see from the picture, though I don't really feel the bruises. 

I apologize if my writing is disjointed at all. I blame it on the pain meds. :)

Sorry for the self-portrait, all the other photos had drool visible!!

Day 4 - Tomato soup has never tasted so good

I feel like things are finally turning a corner. The skin on my face DOES feel like it's being pulled in a million directions but I'd take this over difficulty breathing, any day. I have a new compassion for people with asthma, emphysema or other disorders that make it hard to breathe.

Last night, Marc, my mom and Leeann made a chart indicating when I need to eat, drink, brush, rinse, take meds, etc. it has really helped me (and my mom) stay on top of things. There's actually a lot to remember!

Today I came to a point where I just could not drink anymore Ensure, Instant Breakfast, SlimFast. I tried some tomato soup and it was a nice change! I was worried about the acidity but it wasn't bad.

The drool is starting to kick in, but I'm not going anywhere so this is just a little annoying but nothing too bad.

Also I just received flowers from my surgeon AND dentists. Now that lifts a girl's spirits. :)

I'm very thankful to all my family, friends, church family who have loved on me and my family during this not so pleasant time by your prayers, kind words, meals, texts, emails, phone calls, etc. It really means a lot!

As you can see from the pic, the bruising has started, but it's not as bad as I thought it would be. Yay!

Day 3 - Doctor appt, sleep, more swelling

I don't mean to be dramatic but this whole recovery thing has been a little bit more of a roller coaster than I expected. Yesterday was a very tough day until I went to the doctor. I was still having a lot of trouble breathing and Dr. Kallal cleaned out my nose (amazing feeling). He also removed the bands they had used to hold my jaw together after surgery. He later put some other thick rubber bands (called "chucks"). All in all I felt much better after appointment because I could finally BREATHE. In fact I have been very scared of suffocating that I hadn't really slept much. My eyes were so heavy I had no choice but to sleep on ride home from doc.

Dr. Kallal and all his assistants also commented on how good my swelling looked considering you peak at 72 hours and I had already hit this point. So I felt pretty good leaving the doctors office yesterday.

However later last night I had some nausea and the swelling got worse. Also pain has started to increase but I'm still only allowed pain meds every 4 hours. It's hard not to be a little disheartened. I try just to think about I can breathe and what a relief that is, and to focus on that. I did not get a picture yesterday but I already took one for today. Will try to update later tonight.

Day 2 Recovery, the hardest yet, with a few unexpected perks

We got home from the hospital about noon yesterday.  Though it's nice to be home, I miss (strangely) being connected to an IV.  I now have to make sure I'm constantly drinking water, instant breakfast (I'm already sick of Ensure!), and taking my meds.  I also am supposed to be ambulatory (moving around) and that was a lot easier to do at the hospital too!  No one gave me strange looks and there were really long hallways.  Here at home, I jsut walk around the main level a few times (not the same).  If I were brave I'd go outside, but I don't want to scare anyone, and since I can't talk well enough to explain the situation, it's inside I stay for now.  I was hoping Day 2 recovery would be easier, but it was not.  My face still feels very swollen (which it is!), and it's hard to sleep at night (afraid of suffocating, and have to get up frequently for meds) and the lack of sleep is catching up to me.  Supposedly swelling is supposed to peak at 72 hours (which is about 3 hours away for me).  I hope that's the case! 

I see my doc for my first post-op visit today, and I'm hoping he'll cut my rubber bands (which are banding my mouth shut for now). It's not a for sure thing, so I'll update later. 

I was a little disconcerted to find out at the hospital that I might need Physical Therapy to re-learn how to move my jaw.  I definitely need to stay positive and to remember to trust God through this process.  I am not in control, and you can't plan for everything!

On the bright side,  Lydia, has been as affectionate as ever, constantly telling me her love for me, and wanting to make sure I'm well taken care of with pillow and blankets, etc.  I wasn't sure how she'd react to this all, so that has been a nice surprise! !  And of course I'm so thankful for my mom (and Marc)right now!  She's a great "nurse", and Marc has been a trooper.  This has not been easy! 

Recovery Day 2 Picture